You’ve sorted the childcare, gone back to work and settled into something resembling a routine. Then, just as the guilt of being a working mum starts to fade, you get a nagging suspicion that your child’s carer is not quite good enough. What can you do?
- Not happy with your child’s carer?
- How to tackle the situation
- Rights and responsibilities
- Where next?
- Don’t worry, be happy
Not happy with your child’s carer?
It’s a possibility all of us face. According to National Day Nurseries
Association, 58 per cent of women with a child under five work, yet three
quarters of working parents say there is not enough childcare. It’s hardly
surprising, then, that many of us feel we’re settling for care that might
not be our first choice. Sometimes this is a matter of accepting that
the carer simply does things a different way – this won’t harm your child
and the change might even benefit him or her. But you should seriously
re-think your decision if:
- You suspect your baby is not being stimulated enough
- The TV is frequently on
- Your baby is upset when you leave, even after a good settling-in period
- Your baby is not given the chance to sleep in a quiet room during the
day - Your baby’s nappy is not being changed frequently enough
- The food you provide for your baby is frequently given back only half-eaten
- You are not provided with a daily written record of activities, nappy
changes, food eaten and sleep times - Older children who go there after school are subdued when you collect
them - Your instincts keep niggling away despite “common sense”
How to tackle the situation
Stay calm and try to nip potential problems in the bud before they escalate.
Purnima Tanuka, chief executive of National Day Nurseries Association,
says: “Most matters can be resolved before they have a chance to become
issues. Make sure you build a good relationship with your child’s nursery
- this will help you to easily voice your thoughts. Nurseries are always
keen to make sure they listen to and meet parents’ needs and will also
have a complaints policy in the event a formal complaint is made.”
The National Childminding Association, which represents registered childminders
and nannies, agrees. Charles Rice, director of membership and professional
development, says: “Regular communication is essential for keeping a good
working relationship with your childminder or nanny. If anything is worrying
you, you should speak to them straight away as worries can sometimes grow
out of proportion. Encourage them to do the same. Most difficulties can
be resolved through a friendly chat, or by referring back to the contract
together.”
You might feel, however, as though the problems are too serious to ignore
and the best solution is to start afresh in a new placement. While it
might be tempting to hurl insults and refuse to pay any money owed, the
law might not be on your side. All good nurseries, childminders and nannies
will have drawn up a contract at the start of your arrangement and in
most cases, the notice period will have to be paid, however unfair this
seems.
“Notice periods vary from nursery to nursery but typically parents will
be expected to give a month’s notice or, if they want to remove their
child immediately, pay a month’s fees,” says Purnima. “A contract is a
legally binding document and parents should read it carefully before signing.
If a parent feels there has been a serious breach of safety, they should
speak to the nursery to discuss the situation. If a parent has a complaint
that relates to the standard of childcare they can contact Ofsted, which
has a complaint and investigation procedure. If the incident leads to
a parent removing their child, they should look at their contract and
seek legal advice if appropriate.”
Where next?
You might be perfectly happy sticking to the same type of childcare you
originally opted for, but it might also be a good time to review whether
your child might be happier in a nursery if she’s been looked after in
a home environment, or vice versa. The choice between a childminder, day
nursery, nanny or au pair is a very personal one and different options
suit different families. NDNA has produced an on-line fact-sheet to help
parents choose a nursery, but the rules are universal and apply to all
kinds of childcare.
Make a shortlist and visit all options on it. Trust your instincts and
take a good look around – if the children and carers look happy, the chances
are your child will be too. You can also look at the carer’s latest Ofsted
report and ask for references from other parents. According to the NCMA,
the best place to start is by asking family and friends for recommendations.
“But stay focused,” says Charles. “At the end of the day, it’s your decision
and what’s right for your neighbour might not be right for you.”
Don’t worry, be happy
“Parents face very difficult choices when balancing work and family
life and it can be easy to feel guilty,” says NDNA’s Purnima. “This can
be especially difficult if children cry when left, but remember they will
soon settle.” The important thing is to try not to feel too guilty about
choosing the “wrong” care in the first place. As long as you put things
right and find a situation you and your child are happy with, then you
are doing the best job you possibly can – and that’s all any of us can
aim for!
Useful contacts
www.childcarelink.gov.uk
National Day Nursery Association: www.ndna.org.uk
National Childminding Association: www.ncma.org.uk or 0800 169
4486 for free advice (weekdays 10am – 4pm)
www.childcareapprovalscheme.co.uk (for advice on employing an approved
childcarer)
Ofsted: www.ofsted.gov.uk
by Rebecca Blunt
Where to next?
- For more information on your local childcare options, visit ChildcareLink
at www.childcarelink.gov.uk
- Talk to other working parents about their childcare
choices on our forum! - Dads can stay at home too! We
talked to three dads about their experiences … - Consider
your working options carefully with our special guide.
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