Emma Kirby has her say about other parents’ attitudes to working mothers
” We need more support and a little less judgement”
I have a 16 month old son and have to work full time. Before we had him I was the main bread winner and because of my wage we could get a mortgage etc. Once my son was born I really didn’t want to go back to work. However, we looked at income etc and decided that I would need to go back for three days a week. After a couple of months it was clear that this was not working so I had to increase my hours to full time. Now when I meet people and
mention that I have a son they automatically ask ‘how many days do you work?’ to which I reply 5 days. They then look at me with pity and comment on how hard it must be for him to not have his mother at home. I am sick to death of this. Of course I feel guilty, of course I am jealous of my friends who don’t have to work but this is life and it does NOT make me a bad parent.
My son goes to nursery 3 days a week, is looked after by my husband for 2 days a week and myself for 2 days. I could go the easy way and lose the house and live off the state, but what would that teach my son? That it’s OK to take handouts, that it’s normal to stay home and do nothing, that it’s normal to not have two pennies to rub together? NO, I believe that I am teaching him about responsibility, commitment, working hard for what you want and also having to make sacrifices in order to achieve your dreams.
Just because I work doesn’t mean that I love him any less. So please don’t look in pity at working mothers. We do it because we either have to, want to or need to. Having sarcastic comments and pitiful looks does not help. Support is what we need and a little less judgement.
Have you got strong views? If so, we’d love to hear from you. Email us on editor@babyworld.co.uk with your name and tell us all about it!
