Solving common toilet training problems

A quick reference guide to solving potty and toilet training problems

Problem

Reason Why It Happens

Solutions

Your child shows readiness but
won’t try
  • She doesn’t understand
  • The process is not interesting enough
  • She is going through a negative phase.
  • Re-evaluate your approach, and try something new.
  • Have a few step-by-step lessons and make it fun.
  • Put up a sticker poster or put a bowl of small prizes in the
    bathroom and award one for each use.
Your child has lots of accidents
  • He is distracted
  • He is not noticing his body’s warning signs.
  • Set a timer to ring every two hours. Take him to the potty when
    it rings.
  • Help him identify his need to go (“You’re wriggling;.let’s
    go on the potty.”)
Your child is constipated
  • There are problems with her diet.
  • She does not have the patience to sit on the potty.
  • She is feeling pressure about training.
  • She is holding it too long.
  • Increase fruit, vegetables, whole grains and water. Avoid refined
    sugar, sweets, fizzy drinks, cheese,rice and junk food.
  • Realx the potty training a bit.
  • Teach her to go as soon as she needs to go.
Your child won’t poo on the potty
  • It feels wrong for him to use the toilet after going in a nappy
    for so long.
  • He is fearful about the process.
  • He’s not yet ready to read his body’s warning signals.
  • Reassure him that he’s learning and soon he’ll have his bowel
    movements in the potty.
  • Have him poo in the toilet even if it’s in his nappy.
  • Clean him in the bathroom, wipe hime on the potty and have him
    flush.

Your child won’t poo on the potty
  • He had a bad experience, such as constipation or a fall off
    the toilet
  • Get a soft, padded toilet seat.
  • Line the potty bowl with a nappy or cut the crotch out of a
    nappy and have him sit and have a go.
  • Read, sing or tell him stories when is on the potty. Play soft
    music to help him relax.
Your child won’t use the potty
at nursery
  • She relies on parent prompts at home.
  • Different routines are confusing to her
  • She is not comfortable with the bathrom
  • She gets too busy playing.
  • Practise each morning when you drop her off at nursery.
  • Have routine potty times.
  • Set a plan with your daycare provider.
  • Ask your child what would help.
Your child uses the potty at the
childminder’s or nursery but not at home
  • The nursery schedule or method creates success.
  • Peer pressure motivates him to go.
  • Ask the nursry staff for tips.
  • Use the nursery schedule at home.
  • Duplicate the childminder’s method at home.
  • Create a sticker chart for your child to use.
Your child won’t go
when away from home
  • She has stage fright.
  • She doesn’t understand that she’s supposed to.
  • She can’t relax when away from home.
  • She’s not used to a big toilet.
  • Bring along a book to read.
  • Visit the potty everywhere you go.
  • Teach her a private signal or word to tell you when she wants
    to go.
  • Tell her that everyone uses the toilets everywhere you go.
Your child won’t go when away from
home
  • She doesn’t understand why you cover or clean the seat or she
    is scared of the germs
  • Bring a portable, folding toilet seat cover.
  • Don’t dwell on germs. Tell her that you cover or clean the seat
    because it’s not your own toilet.
Your child was trained but has
regressed
  • A life change is causing stress
  • He has lost interest
  • You stopped reminding him
  • He has a medical problem
  • Give extra love and praise.
  • Take him to the potty at routine times.
  • Introduce a sticker chart or potty prizes.
  • Talk to your doctor.
You are getting impatient or angry
  • Things are not pregressing accroding to plan
  • You have unreasonable expectations
  • Read books and articles on potty training.
  • Talk to other, experienced parents.
  • Talk to your doctor.
  • Stop training for a month or so and regroup.

This article is an excerpt from The
No-Cry Potty Training Solution:
Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say
Good-Bye to Diapers by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2006)

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