From nose-picking to swearing, our lovely angels can have some pretty horrid habits.
The test is how you deal with them!
What went wrong?
Since the day your darling first came into the world, you have been gently, subconsciously instilling manners into her: a little ‘please’ here and a ‘thank you’ there. And then what does your angel do? Pulls down her pants and moons in a crowded tea room, squealing in delight at the horrified looks of the ladies who lunch who are witnessing the scene. Has your daughter been sneaking downstairs and watching teenage toilet humour films?
Where did it all go wrong?
Embarrassing, annoying and outright unbelievable as some toddler antics may seem, most are completely normal. We take a look at some of the most common nasty habits and how to deal with them while staying sane.
Biting (1-2.5 years old)
Some children are keener on having a nibble on human flesh than others
but the good news is (a) they’re not vampires (b) it usually passes by
the time they are 30 months old and (c) it can be dealt with effectively.
What to do:
This depends on the age and severity of the bite. With babies, Dr Christopher
Green, author of New Toddler Taming, advises putting them down
immediately: they will soon learn that they mustn’t bite if they want
to be cuddled. With toddlers, if it’s a small bite done in excitement,
then a gentle warning should do.
If your child keeps doing it, bites viciously or ignores your warnings,
then a time out is in order. Distraction is also a useful tool.
Nose picking (1-101!)
Why do all children insist on digging around in their nose and eating
it? Disgusting! Yet a completely universal nasty habit, occurring in toddlers
worldwide. This tendency can be attributed to boredom and tiredness; think
how many adults have you seen doing the same thing at a traffic light?!
Some older children will also indulge themselves in this pastime when
they realise it gets a strong reaction from their parents – so be warned!
What to do:
If your child has his finger up his nose, don’t honour him with your attention.
Talk about something different and do not engage. If you feel you cannot
ignore it don’t, whatever happens, turn it into a game!
Head-banging (1-2 years)
Head-banging normally forms part of a tantrum, particularly with young
toddlers. While you may worry that they will split their heads open on
the floor, most child experts doubt that any damage will occur. “They
are usually careful to seek out the surface with the greatest noise potential
and lowest pain-inflicting factor,” Dr Green reveals. Children aren’t
as dumb as we sometimes think they are either.
They soon realise that self-inflicted pain is a pretty stupid way of
getting their parents back.
What to do:
Again, ignoring the behaviour or distracting your child are the best courses
of action. If nothing works, rest assured that this normally stops after
two years of age!
Holding their breath and vomiting on demand (18 months
- 4 years)
Fortunately these two types of behaviour are quite unusual in children,
but they do occur, normally when kids are so annoyed that their demands
are simply not being met that they decide extreme measures are in order.
In the case of the first, your toddler simply refuses to breathe until
they eventually pass out.
In the case of the second, the child somehow easily manages to self-induce
vomiting, normally as a protest to time out.
What to do:
All child experts agree that breath-holding is more harmful to parents
than it is to children: as soon as your child passes out, their natural
breathing mechanism kicks in and they’ll regain consciousness within half
a minute, no harm done
Child experts stress that no attention should not given to a child practising
this particularly manipulative technique – if you make a fuss, you’ll
get a repeat performance. Dr Spock, in his book Baby and Child Care
reassures that, “Most breath-holding spells occur between one and three
years, and stop happening by the time the child starts nursery… [they]
do not cause brain damage.”
As for vomiting on demand – again non-emotional reaction is key. Green
advises that you calmly take them into the bathroom and shut the door
while you clean up, so they can’t see that you’re upset. Then clean them
up and put them back in the cot, without expressing any emotion and without
giving them any attention.
Playing with their privates (6 months upwards)
Most children play with their private parts as soon as they discover
their fingers, toes and genitals. There is nothing sexual about it; they
are simply enjoy the pleasant feelings it generates! From 18 to 30 months,
they start becoming aware of how boys and girls are different anatomically.
From three years upwards, children will start masturbating occasionally,
often when they are bored, tired or anxious.
What to do:
Most child experts agree that ignoring the behaviour is the best way forward.
It is, after all, an innocent act, so don’t start giving them complexes
about it! However, what do you do when they start having a fiddle in public
or when their relatives are visiting?
Dr Green suggests diversion. “It is probably more realistic to gently
divert the offending hand or interest the child in something more sociable.”
Potty mouth (pre-school up)
It’s easy to forget that our children are like sponges, particularly
where language is concerned. Upon hearing a juicy expletive (accidentally
muttered by mum or dad or shouted by a foul-mouthed teenager) they will
retain this for future use, normally in a setting that guarantees maximum
embarrassment for you.
Very young children have no idea what the offending words mean, just
that they get a superb reaction from the adults around them (and indeed
from delighted playmates who then repeat them).
What to do:
Again, ignoring them seems the best option, particularly in the first
instance. A quiet and non-emotional comment such as “We don’t like that
kind of language” could be helpful too. And the most important of all:
don’t use swear words yourself when they’re around!
Whining (3 years up)
Nothing can demoralise a parent as much as constant whining. As Dr Green
states, it is “equal in potency to the Chinese water torture”. Again,
how much or how little a child indulges in this varies from one individual
to another but how we react is key to whether things get better… or worse.
What to do:
Don’t give in, whatever happens. Once they realise that whining for 1,
5 or 10 minutes gets results, they will remember to do this again, and
again… and again…Dr Green suggests distraction again – try talking about
something startling in the house or garden or wherever you are – or try
to engage them in a different activity. If you have a well-seasoned whinger
your may need to be more brutal: ignore them or at least pretend to.
If you are being severely tested, it’s time for a time out. If all these
fail, try a new environment to keep yourself sane and your child distracted!
And the rest…
There are so many bad habits out there you’d need a website to cover
them all! We have had tales of streaking in public, demanding to use the
phone, smearing poo over walls, interrupting every conversation you try
to have with an adult… the list is a very long one.
The same rules apply to most bad habits: ignore the minor stuff and issue
a firm but calm reprimand, or a time out, for the bigger issues. Finally,
it’s worth bearing in mind that all these unpleasant habits normally are
indicative of a developmental stage: take heart that your child probably
will grow out if it!
1|2
Loading ...
