Men need help during labour too, but they are often left out of the birth equation. We look at some of their fears and concerns and how to involve
partners more…
In antenatal classes, some of the most common worries about pregnancy expressed by men are:
- Wanting to help their partner, but not being sure how
- Fears about increased responsibility
- Being worried about finances
- Feeling unable to relate to the baby yet
- Feeling quite left out of the pregnancy
- Surprised at how ill their partner may be feeling, and not knowing what to do about it
- Worried about how their lives will change once the baby is here
- Concern about how long their partner has been feeling tired or sick
Men often have their own worries about the labour and birth too:
- Being at the birth, and not knowing if they will be able to cope
- Anxiety that they may miss the birth
- Worries about the health of the mother and baby
- Being concerned about having to see their partner in pain
- Worries that it may all become very medical and gory
- Fears that they may be overlooked and ignored by medical staff
Men also enjoy many aspects of the pregnancy and birth. Some of the good things they
mention about pregnancy are: knowing you can father a child (you are not firing blanks!);
watching your partner’s body growing; the excitement of seeing your baby on the scan;
telling everyone that you’re expecting a baby; noticing how everyone’s attitude to
you changes; planning and thinking about the baby.
Positive feelings about the birth include: the relief that it’s all happening at
last (pregnancy seems a long time); seeing the baby and knowing he or she is okay; telling
everyone about the baby, and finally, becoming a family.
Paradoxically, if you and your partner have been trying to have a child for some time,
either or both of you might find you are having doubts now it’s finally happening.
And while the mother may feel concern for the health of her unborn baby, for many men
there is a constant, underlying but often unspoken anxiety about the risks to not one, but
two other people for whom they care deeply.
Where to next?
- Read our article Dads at delivery – help or hindrance?
- Worried about the birth? Share your thoughts on this discussion board
- Find out all you need to know about labour and birth
- Got a question about the big day? Ask our experts
- Find out more about what to expect on
