Groups > Feeling down

aaagghh where to start………….getting so fed up of having pnd!!! today im feeling realy low realy want to start trying for anouther baby but theres so much crap going through my head, what if our daughter reacts badly like her cousin did when they bought home her lil sister what if i end up with pnd again or what if i try and over compensate with the new one to make up for every thing that happend with issie, what if i do the same or what if not by purpose i end up ignoring issie or resenting them both!!! tomorrow is anouther one born every min and im sticking with it even when the tears come i keep watching in hope it might make me deal with every thing that went on with issie labour but i duno one part of me just wants to do the what i always do try and forget it and put it to the back of me head and just get on with life as iwhats been dones been done i cant change that shes still small she doesnt know so just try and do the best u can every day just dont look to far foward and just do things day to day. and the reasonable side of me thinks thousands of mothers go on to having more children so why cant i they all cope yes iv still got the pnd but was dealing with depression before having issie any way and if i feel low again then i know i can just say its not that big a deal . just feeling so low in myself , huge body issies even though im at my lowest weight iv ever been with i should be over the moon about but im not i just lokk at myself and want to cry cuz its not good enough i look at myself and want to throw up i look horrible and no matter how much the husband says oh you look stunning or you r lookin skinny it aint sinking in i would of done any thing before issie to weigh the 8stone 11 i do now as only ever managed to getto 9stone 5 before issie just hoping when i hit my target of 8stone 5 ill be happy but aaahhh just one of those long crappy tiering for no reason days